It Was Almost The End

Oh, hi there!

You know what's weird? Cutting out 98% of my online time. It was a good recharge. Okay, so "recharge" is the wrong word because I'm completely exhausted. Be that as it may, I saw a friend post the following status update on Facebook late in the day last Thursday:

Stolen from a friend, who stole it from a friend, who stole it from a friend...

:) But I think it's pretty cool.

So the world is supposed to be ending tomorrow huh? That's bad. I never have found out who let the dogs out, the way to get to Sesame Street, why Dora doesn't just use Google maps, why we don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery," why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed, why "abbreviated" is such a long word, why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons, why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Why did Joanie love Chachi? If a deaf person has to go to court is it still called a hearing? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Does the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star have the same tune? Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs? And just what is Victoria's secret? You see, the world just has to keep going. I have too many questions!! LOL Had to share....

So me, being who I am, responded with a list. Because I like lists.

Ahem...
1) The Baha Men (and definitely not Michael Vick).
2) sesamestreet.org.
3) Because she owns stock in Apple and Yahoo.
4) They give someone else the winning numbers because the trick to being a psychic is that you can't help yourself otherwise you lose "The Gift" (see also the movie "The Gift).
5) Purely an anatomical thing because opening the mouth elongates the face, and pulls the bottom lashes slightly further away from the top making application easier.
6) IDK. But seriously, it's because that one word is making up for all the other abbreviated words. Funny, though, how "abbreviation" is from the Latin "brevis" meaning short, and yet we made it even longer.
7) Lemon Juice needs all the preservatives so it doesn't go bad after a day. The components of dish-washing liquid preserve the real lemons, which the dish-washing liquid needs because the citric acid breaks down grease.
8) Just in case there's a stay of execution.
9) Now you know where all the "Take A Penny, Leave A Penny" residents come from.
10) It's all about chemistry, and as the British say, "He's got a huge knob."
11) Yes, because it's about the judge "hearing" your case.
12) No, because those laws have been amended to included phrases like "living person."
13) Yes. They are based on the French tune "Ah vous dirai-je, Maman" from 1761, later composed by Mozart into "Twelve Variations on Ah vous dirai-je, Maman" around 1781, and is used for many children's songs including "The Alphabet Song," "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," and "Baa Baa Black Sheep."
14) Because they're catchy and that's why kids like them.
15) It's a throwback to Queen Victoria. Seen as quite prudish, people want to think that, behind closed doors, she was a little bit sexy and titillating. Try to get THAT image out of your head.

And now you get to try to get that last image out of your head.

You're welcome.

Word to the Nerd