Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Wordy Wednesday : Chores

A little flash fiction for you today since I didn't have anything prepared. Just something I think about every time it happens.

Disused Farmyard, Lurganbane (Dean Molyneaux) / CC BY-SA 2.0

Setting up the camp chair, I eased my sore joints into the seat and dropped the can of soda into the cupholder stitched into the arm. It hissed briefly as I popped the top and took a few gulps. Surveying the yard, it was obvious the grass needed to be weeded and cut, the pine cones and pine needles bagged, and bushes trimmed. Okay, I thought. Let's do this. From the backyard, the lawnmower rolled up the slight incline around the side of the house, followed by the rakes and weeding tools bobbing through the air. The weeds went first as the hand weeders jabbed into the soft earth and popped the weeds free with ease. As they worked their way across the lawn, the rakes started up behind them, collecting the loosened weeds and any other debris strewn about the yard. The rakes deposited their collections in tidy piles on the driveway where shovels scooped them into waste bags. Roaring to life, the lawnmower began to roll along the far edge of the yard, making alternating strips that reminded me of a baseball field. It stopped every few lines to empty the grass it had collected in its bag with the rest of the waste. When all was said and done, the hose came to life and rinsed off the tools and the underside of the mower as they trundled from whence they came around the house and into the storage shed behind the house.

"What are you doing?" she asked, and I turned sharply in her direction, dropping my soda can.

"Sorry? What was that?" I asked

"I thought you were going to cut the grass?"

Turning back to the yard, everything was as it had always been; weeds needed pulling, leaves and pine cones needed raking, grass needed cutting and bagging.

"Magic would be so cool," I finally said.

I didn't need to see it, but I know she rolled her eyes as dropped the work gloves into my lap.

**On a side note, thank you for continuing to stop by, even though I wasn't the best at making the rounds in a timely or commenting fashion the last few days. You brought me smiles in my convalescence.**

Word to the Nerd


Jaleh D said...

Hahaha! Great little piece. Ahhh, if only....... Magic to clean the car, tidy the house, collect the dog poo in the dog run before weed whacking it...yeah, sounds good to me too. :D

Joshua said...

Jaleh - Seriously, it would make somethings easier. Dishes, laundry, yard work.

Matthew MacNish said...

Dang. I was hoping it was real.

aziasaidwhat said...

Maybe it's because I haven't had any coffee or tea yet today- but for some reason, I was reading it going, "Oh my god! This narration describing everything doing stuff without the help of a human hands so that you just envision them doing themselves in brilliant." Magic completely escaped me. Durka durrrrr.

Libby said...

magic would be cool...

Sarah Ahiers said...

Wiat. You have to pack up pine needles and cones? Can't you just, you know, ignore them?

And just remember. No writer ever had a clean house

fishducky said...

I've heard that a clean house is a sign of a wasted life--that probably would apply to yards, too!

Glad you're feeling better!!!

Johanna Garth said...

LOL, I know my husband would love to have some of that magic for our overgrown backyard!

Annika said...

It's like everybody I know is talking or thinking about mowing their lawn today. Is everybody ignoring it equally long time? Maybe everybody's just waiting for the magic to happen, because that'd be so cool occasionally.

I really enjoyed your little story. I always do, since I have trouble reading a whole book these days.

Happy Wednesday :-).

Jaycee DeLorenzo said...

LOL, that was great. I always wanted to be able to snap my finger like Mary Poppins to clean up my bedroom when I was young. Now, I want to be able to snap my fingers and clean the whole house...yard too.

Magic would be so cool. :D

Paige Kellerman said...

I always think magic would be so cool around the time the bathroom needs to be cleaned...which it does.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I know exactly how he feels. I need magic for my lawn. Or Astro Turf. Either works.

Padded Cell Princess said...

IF ONLY!! I would especially love a little magic when it comes to cleaning the bathroom!

Patty said...

My sister used to tell us when we were younger that she had magical powers that could clean the garage or our room or do any chore. But they only worked if everyone present had 100% faith.
Never saw it work. But it wasn't MY doubt.

Christine Rains said...

That was a fun little piece! I dream about such things often.

Gwen Gardner said...

LOL, this made me laugh. I sooo felt his disappointment. Loved the line, "Magic would be so cool."

Juli said...

If you dream it it will happen.

And if wake and you hallucinate that it did... well then come on over to my place and share what ever was in that can. :)

Cora said...

I think the same thing every time I do laundry. *sigh*

Joshua said...

Matthew - You and me both.

azia - You have a parasite; you're forgiven.

Libby - Very much so yes.

Sarah - I could leave them if I didn't want grass. Plus, pine cones damage the lawnmower blade. Really badly, too.

fishducky - Tell that to my psychosis.

Johanna - Or a robot. Either way.

Annika - My backyard needs cutting. Just don't wanna!

Jaycee - Wouldn't it be so very nice? Dishes...SNAP! Dinner...SNAP! Padded bank account...SNAP!

Paige - Worst room to clean. By far.

Alex - I know someone who did that for her backyard. Her husband is allergic to grass, she didn't want to cut it or pay someone to cut it, astro turfed.

Princess - Just a little help would be nice. Like...the grout.

Patty - Nor would it have been mine!

Christine - Every damn day.

Gwen - Especially coupled with his wife's eye roll.

Juli - Old pizza, Red Bull, Skittles. Try that combo.

Cora - I don't mind the doing of the laundry, but sometimes the folding would be nice to go...SNAP...and done and put away.

Kato said...

Sigh...I have been saying it for years....WHY CAN'T I BE MAGICAL???

Joshua said...

Kato - Agreed!