Monday, August 29, 2011


There was going to be a disclaimer in here about how you should go here if you're offended by vulgar language, but there are only a few in the below. I think I explain why this is about vulgarity, and yet I use very little here. Regardless, if you don't want to read some swear words below, click the link in the first sentence and go watch some cute animals or something. I will not be offended. I won't even really know.

I have had occasion lately to purge some people from my personal Facebook friends list. There were conversations that took place first, arguments, discussions, all moderately civil, and started by my status updates.

Let's cut right to it, shall we? I have a really bad fucking mouth. Typically this doesn't come across in things that I write for public consumption, but I swear. A lot. If there was a scale with Wonder Pets on one end and Andrew Dice Clay on the other, I'd probable be somewhere around George Carlin.

I've said it before, but I'm not big on censorship. Relatives from cousins to mom and dad to grandparents are all on Facebook, and they are subject to the same fact that I don't censor myself. To be honest, mom and dad can't talk. It's not like they beat me and screamed obscenities at me as a child, but they would have occasion to swear, or we would watch movies with them that had swearing. Hell, we used to listen to George Carlin on road trips, so the "Seven Words You Can't Say On Television" bit was in my brain early on.

It's an interesting tactic that a lot of parents I know do not agree with in practice. By allowing the hearing of the words and not freaking out over them, they lose their power and stigma. That said, I make a concerted effort not to swear in front of my kids. It has more to do with the phonetic whipping sound of a lot of curse words, those hard consonant sounds, that I don't think a two and four year old need to hear. Yes, I'm not perfect, and I have said a bad word or two in front of my kids. They'll survive.

Back to the Facebook status issue. My profile security is tight. If you find me, you don't see much unless you're already a friend. This is on purpose, mostly because of the kids. And it's my statii, so I'll say whatever the fuck is on my mind, and I'll be damned if someone's going to make me feel bad about it. The topic that started this is irrelevant. I was pissed about how it feels like every time you're in a hurry and running late, everyone else on the road is doing their level best to give it to you up the ass at every turn and intersection. This started off a series of message exchanges between myself and six people. The outcome?

"While I can appreciate your thoughts and concerns, what I say and do with my personal Facebook posts is my business. I'm sharing my thoughts and feelings and pictures and videos and funny links with the people I consider my friends. If you don't like it, ignore it. If you can't, then perhaps you don't know me as well as you think you do, and maybe we shouldn't be Facebook friends any longer."

They all responded, and the end result was a permanent ban from my friend list. To be completely honest, I'm pretty sure I won't miss a single one of them.


LGalaviz said...

I always thought those Wonder Pets were more shady than they let on. Sneaking out late at night, and all. How do we know they can be trusted?

blueviolet said...

I just can't understand why people feel as if they can censor what people say in their personal spaces, be it the blog or Facebook. Those spots are yours to do with as you see fit. There's nothing wrong with friendly discussion and respectful disagreement, but the bottom line is that it's YOUR space.

LGalaviz said...

In my world, Facebook is for family. Twitter for the irreverent.

Eolist Petite said...

odd that this comes right when i am contemplating simply shutting off my facebook account for the self same reason... opinion diversity is wonderful, opinion stabbing however smacks of the narrow minded need to be right that causes wars just because it can.


DEZMOND said...

you swear like a cowboy? How wonderfully charming.
If there's some spicy business going on at Facebook, feel free to add me up there, although I do prefer cute animal pics to dirty mouth (well, at lest outside my own home ...) :)

Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. said...

I've surprisingly not come across this too often... but yeah, I don't censor myself much on Facebook, and I have nieces and nephews on there.. but if the parents of said kids don't like what I'm saying, then that's the risk they took when they let their kids sign up. People like me are why my kids DON'T have one (and that I just think 8 and 10 is way too young... others may disagree).

My family all know who I am and what I am like, so I agree, anyone who doesn't like my views is welcome to engage in *friendly* debate.. but if you're not willing to do that, then there's a delete button.

aziasaidwhat said...

I just got to the point one day where I was staring at my mini-feed wondering to myself, "How do I know so many fucktards?" Then I deleted my facebook. The End.

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Joshua. You try and reason with them? Waste of time. Delete, delete, delete. This is why I have no friends. Indigo

Pearl said...

Chiming in with Indigo there, who actually IS a Facebook friend! -- at least as of this morning...


I don't know when everyone got so touchy but it's boring as hell.


Jeane said...

Oh...I long for some good cursing on facebook! Sadly, I get dinner updates and do I really care that you are eating leftovers?! Hell no. I cursed...but just a small one.

Joshua said...

Liz 1 - They are shady. And maybe a bit 25 watt.

blueviolet - Damn right.

Liz 2 - Good point. Exactly why I keep them separate and unlinked.

Eolist - I'd get rid of it, except it's the only way to keep in touch with the vast majority of my family since none of them ever call or email.

DEZ - I don't know about cowboys swearing. Maybe sailors.

Yandie - Excellent point.

azia - Couldn't do it.

Indigo - Yep, reason with them. What can I say, I'm a sadist.

Pearl - Ditto my last response.

Jeane - I'm with you. More swearing on Facebook.

Padded Cell Princess said...

I love a good Facebook purge! I usually end up ditching dumb drama bimbos who evidently have no intent on ever growing up (usually despite having kids!). I'm not really a swearer but I don't expect that of the people I know and am around. I actually get annoyed when a friend swears around me and then apologizes...what am I, Sister Mary Maggie?? I say good riddens to those people and you will most definitely won't miss them!

SuziCate said...

I think people should not be telling others what to put on their FB page. I had a friend who was always complaining about profanity, and told her it was their page and if she was offended then maybe she should unfriend or block. I seldom use prfanity on mine, but I am not offended by those who do. And I'm with Jeane, sick of who is eating what!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Oh God yes, what everyone else said. Your space, your rules. If people don't like it they can eff off. For SURE. I used to try my best to just not use swearing at all in public areas like blog etc., but then I thought, so what? I can do what I want and if I feel like a swear word works there I'll use it. I try not to be over profane when commenting on other people's blogs though. Their space, their rules.

I think what I'm trying to say here is, "THIS!" :)

Cora said...

Ugh. Exactly. If someone doesn't like what you're saying, why not just ignore it? I don't get it. There's no FB rule which says people must butt in where they're not wanted and spew their opinions around. How annoying!

Mandy_Fish said...

In the end, you don't own what other people feel about what you write. They do. If they don't likey the way they feel after reading words you wrote, they can either block you, delete you, or get over it.

You don't need to take any action whatsoever.

That's my feeling on the god damn subject matter.

Kato said...

You know how I fucking feel about the whole swearing thing.

Fucking hate it.

Wish people would stop fucking swearing like little bitches all the time.

You don't need those people in your life if the word 'fuck' offends them anyway. Grow up people!

Breann said...

I am the same and I only do censor myself on Facebook because my grandparents are on there. But twitter is where I let loose a little more often. My Husband on the other hand - it's a free for all!

Powdered Toast Man said...

Fuck 'em, fuck 'em all. If they can't handle it then that is their problem. You shouldn't have to censor yourself. This isn't sesame street.

Libby said...

That is kind of annoying. If someone posts stuff I don't like on Facebook, I just ignore it.

Vapid Vixen said...

I recently got an e-mail from my Mother after reading my blog. She voiced her opinion that I was disgracing the family with my poor language and that I wasn't brought up like that.
I wasn't. But this is who I am. I made no apologies and offered to change my name.

Joshua said...

Princess - I did a great purge a few years ago. Dumped close to 300 people.

Suzi - I had leftovers for dinner last night. ;^P

Veg - Thanks, lady.

Cora - Indeed, annoying.

Mandy - Yeah, damn it.

Kato - Fucking fuckers.

Breann - My grandparents are still friended, but I did ditch one of my mom's half-sisters for making some d-bag comment to a good friend of mine.

PTM - I think there should be more swearing on Sesame Street.

Libby - Exactly.

Vixen - No, she should change her name!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!